I’m not sure why, but I dreamed I was dating Zack Morris last night. I was not dating the actor who played him, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, I was dating Zack himself all decked out in those bright 1990’s colors that looked like he was pulled from a Color Me Bad video. I won’t even get into his amazingly unforgettable cordless phone that’s almost bigger than the computer on which I’m typing this moment.

Sadly my dream didn’t involve Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski or that other one, Jessie Spano who, after an infamous “I’m so excited” freakout on caffeine pills, went on to be in that awarding winning film, Showgirls. No, it was just all about me dating Zack, figuring out how I was going to introduce him to my parents and feeling fiercely out of place in my attire. One would think that in my dreams I’d get such shit straight, but apparently not.

My scrunchies may have disappeared with 1999 (or maybe even earlier) and I definitely was never as trendy as Lisa Turtle, but at least I can remember the fashion that those three instilled in me — even if I’ve yet to incorporate that knowledge into my dreams.