What you wear around you neck says just as much about you as your manicure and the way you apply your eyeliner. Whether you pick necklaces that sparkle, shine, or aren’t made of metal at all, your personality can be shown off a lot simply by the jewelry you wear every day. Using my amazing PhD in Clinical Necklace Psychology, I will now tell you who you are and what you’re like using just the dangly thing around your neck.
When you were in elementary school, you always brought lunch instead of buying it. You enjoy watching 13 Going On 30 on Sunday afternoons in your pajamas more than getting drunk at brunch. You genuinely love reading your horoscope. At work and at home, you are very organized–a skill that has gotten you far in life, but also drives you a little nuts when you have somebody visiting who is anything other than neat. When you’re nervous or just plain fidgety, you pull all your hair to one side on your shoulder. Even though your friends swear it “barely hurts,” you will never get a Brazilian wax. You love nail polish and, when you’re feeling a little wild, do a glitter accent nail. You take a lot of online quizzes and post the results to Facebook.
Your favorite food is a grilled cheese sandwich with avocado, which people initially give you the side eye about until they realize it’s the best thing ever. If a stranger approaches you in public and tries to talk to you, you feel awkward not being nice. You’re way more messy than you would like to admit and you get a little weird when you drink whiskey. Nothing upsets you more than rudeness and you would never date a bad tipper. You’re most attracted to people who wear J. Crew and know the difference between pomade and gel, but never wind up dating them. On the street, you regularly smile at dogs and completely ignore their owners. Gosh, your purse has a lot of receipts in it.
You love nail art, but can’t actually do it yourself yet so you’ve resorted to hoarding “inspiration photos” on Pinterest. You own more maxi dresses than you can count and you prefer to wear sandals over heels. If you could get married tomorrow, you would skip the wedding cake and just pile pastel-colored macarons on top of one another to create the prettiest, most delicious mountain of all time. You think Ryan Reynolds is very attractive even though you can’t name a single movie he’s been in.
Okay, technically this isn’t a necklace, but there are plenty of women who rock the necktie look. If that includes you, you are probably very good at ordering. As in, when you go to a restaurant, you know right away what you want to order. Your taste in music is better than anybody you know, but you would never brag about that. Somehow, even after a long day at your extremely cool job, your eyeliner looks perfect. It is occasionally difficult to tell if you intentionally make your hair messy or if it just naturally happens because you party so late at night in underground clubs nobody’s heard of, but everybody wants to get into. In middle school, you thought Evanescence was cool, but you’re cool enough as an adult that you’re fine with admitting this.
You have specific skincare products you use and rarely, if ever, branch out from them. You decorate your apartment with books from floor to ceiling, or at least want to. You keep your work life and social life as separate as possible, rarely discussing the details of your day-to-day life unless somebody asks. The Disney princess you most relate to is–wait, it’s none of them, because you much preferred to watch movies with Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and any actresses with excellent fingerwaves and perfect diction. You would never date somebody who takes photos of their abs in the mirror.
Are you Flavor Flav? You must be Flavor Flav.
Click to the next page to see what wearing jewels, a choker, a simple chain, and more neck accessories say about you!
If you like joke necklaces, you probably type entire conversations using just emojis with at least one of your friends, if not all of them. You call your parents by their first names every once in a while, just to keep them on their toes. Though you rarely post on Facebook, when you do, it’s either an intensely political article or a photo of a dog wearing pants. You need to stop drinking so much coffee, or so you say every evening. Your pet is named after a television character.
You have a gym membership that you actually use. When you were in high school, you were on the honor roll. Your name necklace was your everyday accessory then, and it’s still your favorite now, though you’ve now switched out your Aeropostale shirts with ones from BCBG. Even though you’re a generally nice person, you were kind of a bully in high school and still feel bad about it. In your purse right now is lip gloss, gum, and a travel size of perfume that smells like vanilla.
You’re the kind of person who replies to prospective OK Cupid dates who photos of expensive cars on their profile. When you wear a bikini, you look so good. You watch Real Housewives shows and, even though you make fun of them, you keep watching unironically. You also use the word “hubby” unironically. Your Pinterest is filled to the brim with photos of giant cakes, Amsale wedding gowns, and attractive couples kissing on the beach. You have broken up with at least one person by text message.
You’re the funniest member of your friend group. Even though you admittedly don’t know a ton about makeup, you love a good bright lipstick. You tend to say “yes” to plans even when you’re extremely busy, which leads you to get frazzled, but it also makes you one of the most reliable people for your loved ones. You always eat the leftovers in your fridge, and sometimes other people’s who were about to throw them away, yet you are still a very healthy person. You’re not entirely sure why people are attracted to Adam Levine, but you do think Benedict Cumberbatch is the hottest person ever and none of your friends get it.
If you wear a simple gold or silver chain, you look really good in jeans and a t-shirt. Like, model good, and when you walk down the street, people wonder what you’re thinking. You love going to movies, but find them impractical when it comes to your budget. You’re a great dancer and throw excellent parties, though your coworkers would never know it because you seem so orderly, if a little stiff, while at work. You don’t like to DIY anything, though you find it cool when other people do. You paint your nails solid neutral tones and remove the polish immediately at the first sign of chipping.
You are a 12-year-old in the late 90s. How has time travel been treating you?