Ah, Forever 21. You can always count on them to be affordable, you can usually count on them to be cute, and you can occasionally count on them to be utterly ridiculous. A whole batch of new arrivals were just posted to the Forever 21 website, and most of them are just over-the-top nutso. Here are the WTF-iest new items.
1. Iconic Moto Jacket – $39.80. The jacket itself isn’t a total disaster, but WTF is the story behind this outfit? It looks like something Rayanne from My So-Called Life would have considered in 1996– and decided against.
2. Modernist Ribbed Poncho – $29.80. I was having a hard time coming around to ponchos in the first place, and Forever 21 just had to go and make this one ribbed. With a weird line bisecting the model’s cleavage. I’m so confused.
3. Out West Poncho – $37.80. Oh, but they didn’t stop there. Here’s another poncho, but this one comes attached to an airplane neck pillow.
4. Secret Rebel Faux Leather Sweater – $29.80. “Faux leather sweater,” while really fun to say five times fast, seems like a contradiction in terms. This looks like it was lifted from the set of Pretty Little Liars, but not in a good way.
5. Standout Zebra Sweater – $22.80. The tragedy with this one is that it didn’t HAVE to be ugly. Why did they make the pattern so twisty and headache-inducing? This reminds me way too much of those optical illusions books annoying kids always had at recess.
6. Daring Faux Leather Cutout Jumpsuit – $27.80. It makes me sad that there will never be an appropriate time in my life—or anyone else’s—to wear this. It’s actually kind of cool, but who are they trying to sell this to?
7. Statement-Making Hype Harem Pants – $13.80. What statement are these making, exactly? “I have a ludicrously long vulva?” Also, please explain to me why they say “hype” on the butt. People said “hype” when I was in high school in 2008, so it’s not new enough to be cool and it’s not old enough to be ironic. Right? WTF.
8. Have Your Say Dress – $19.80. Sure. Have your say. But don’t wear this dress.
Forever 21, I appreciate your commitment to making unique clothes… but I think you missed the mark this time.