A lot has been written about the campy genius that is the movie “Burlesque,” and I’ve ignored all of it if it doesn’t include glowing reviews about how Cher can do no wrong, Christina has the vocal prowess of a trained opera singer, and all movies should henceforth include musical interludes featuring women in fishnets and hot shorts.

But as Jennifer so aptly pointed out, it’s likely that this movie will push the four remaining women in Brooklyn and Silver Lake combined who haven’t bought themselves a pair of nipple tassels yet to go out and do so…then display them in the privacy of a small room containing only other, supportive women.

Well, I say you four ladies are better than that, and so are the rest of you who have already succumbed to the cheap, crack-like addiction that is burlesque! Instead, why not try some of these styles out in the world and show us what you’re really made of: