Maxim‘s April cover story on Jennifer Love Hewitt might be the most stereotypically Maxim-y thing I’ve seen from them in quite some time, and that’s saying something. (Full disclosure: I do not read Maxim regularly.) It’s littered with quotes about how she loves pole dancing and baking cakes (sometimes at the same time!), and it looks like they Photoshopped her head onto some kind of plastic Barbie body. All in all, it’s quite the hot mess (of sexiness). Why, it’s almost like Jennifer has done market research on how to appeal to the Maxim demographic as much as possible so that they’ll tune into her prostitute mom show. Joke’s on you, Maxim readers!