What happens when you’re famous for dating someone more famous and the more famous person splits? Italian TV presenter and actress (?) Elisabetta Canalis was recently faced with the question many a George Clooney ex must eventually ask herself: without pointless marginal fame, do I even exist? And so, Canalis has taken the three-pronged approach to guarantee she doesn’t vanish completely: an exclusive chat with US Weekly, a competing slot on Dancing with the Stars and posing naked for PETA’s something about fur and obscurity campaign.

…So, basically, the Cerberus at the gates of d-list hell.

Pour a shot of wheatgrass on the sidewalk for all the leather jackets and assorted fancy animal hide pumps Canalis is totally obligated to throw out now. Here’s the ad, which I’ll bet $10 does absolutely fucking nothing for any animal anywhere.

Photos via the Daily Mail