Of all the political pundits who might have made forays into fashion, I can’t say that I was expecting this, but here you have it. Glenn Beck, of the racist, conspiracy theory spouting Becks, has decided to retore righteousness to America by creating his very own line of $130 dad jeans called 1791.

The commercial (above) features a ruggedly handsome man intrepidly welding things in the wilderness as a voiceover un-ironically says:

“These were the first American blue jeans, the jeans that built America. And they were built in America, built in a time when things were timeless. A time when people worked for their dreams, and their dreams worked for them…maybe you’ll never get a chance to go to the moon, but as an American, you sure as heck can still shoot for it [by self-immolating with illegal fireworks in a protected wildlife habitat].”

A few questions:

-Does Glenn Beck think he invented blue jeans, much the same way Al Gore invented the Internet?

-Did Glenn Beck travel back in time to make these jeans in “a time when things were timeless,” then jump back ahead to sell them to us, the American consumers?

-If so, doesn’t that mean he gets an unfair advantage on production costs when you factor in the effect of inflation?

-Why do progressives hate the idea of people working for their dreams, and having their dreams, in turn, work for them? Threatening the poor with starvation and death from preventable causes is just the inspiration they need to go out there and achieve!

-Why does Glenn Beck suddenly care about the well-being of the factory workers who make Levis? (A: He doesn’t, he just wants them to stop taking American jerbs.)

-I thought $130 jeans were for coastal elites? (A: These jeans don’t make your ass look hot, so it’s okay.)

In all seriousness, I applaud anyone who makes clothing under ethical conditions. But I’d prefer it without a side of jingoistic barbarism. Also, Beck is using the same fabric as Levis, a company he’s said he hates for their OWS-related ads, which seems…odd to me?

Then again, it’s all just different flavors of consumerism. Liberals buy expensive jeans like this, conservatives buy expensive jeans like this! At least Beck doesn’t pretend to be skeptical of capitalism.

(Via Buzzfeed)