gold rolling papers

Ostentatious status markers serve a useful social purpose by letting us know which people we encounter are actually vainglorious douchebags. Case in point: If you are at a party and thinking about stealing weed from someone, go for the person waving around a pack of 24-karat-gold rolling papers.

Yep, those exist. Sure to be a hit with the aspiring Rich Kids of Instagram, Shine 24K Gold Rolling Papers sell for $55 for 12 sheets.

As the gulf between rich and poor widens and it one again inexplicably becomes socially acceptable to consume conspicuously, wear overt logos, and flaunt excess like it’s the 1980s, anything that can be gilded will be gilded. We already have gold shoelaces and gold false eyelashes, so of course it could not have been long before someone came out with a line of 24-karat gold papers to smoke. Because, you know, just lighting dollar bills on fire and laughing is pleb-tier.

Shine Papers owner Dave D said of the product:

“It’s definitely not an everyday product because of the price point. But the people who feel like they are that person are showing a lot of support for it and returning to reorder.”

Quick tip: Do not be that person. Nobody likes that person. Everybody talks shit about that person when that person leaves, and that person is the person most likely to wind up in a guillotine and/or get his or her weed stolen at any party.

Also, just for the record, nobody knows for sure if it is actually safe to smoke these at all. You would, after all, be inhaling gold particles. 24-Karat gold is edible, but there’s not a lot of data on the effects of inhaling it. The FDA has not investigated the rolling papers, and the American Lung Association declined to comment.

But to paraphrase one fan, “Who cares about health when your lungs are gold-plated swag?”

Via The Daily Mail/Photo: Instagram/Bossburg69