We already brought you the “Best Dressed” list from the 71st Golden Globes, but now, we bring you the full rundown on who needs to fire their stylists, who needs to and who did not look in the mirror prior to leaving their very expensive hotel suites. While there are a few celebs on this list who are not known for their solid style, there were plenty I surprised at–namely, Aubrey Plaza, Kerry Washington and Tina Fey, among others.
Hayden Panettiere needs to fire anybody who had anything to do with this look. Possibly including Tom Ford.
Sarah Hyland is a little too Easter egg for my taste.
As a third grade, I made dresses like Aubrey Plaza’s for my Barbie dolls. Though those Barbies made have continuously smiled throughout their monotonous, plastic lives, I knew that inside, they longed to belong to a kid with a decent fashion sense.
Megan Mullaly‘s leg-o-mutton sleeves simultaneously bum me out and make me want one of those giant turkey legs from Disneyland. But she and Nick Offerman are so cool that it’s okay.
Somewhere, a bridezilla’s wedding cake is missing its frosting because Paula Patton is wearing it.
Mike Tyson, because (A) he’s wearing a patterned tux (B) he’ll always be on my “Worst” list for anything ever because he’s a bad person.
Kate Mara‘s look reminds me of what people in the 1950s imagined we’d dress like in 2000. (To be fair, Christina Aguilera sort of did.)
I was conflicted about this one, because I love Sofia Vergara and I actually kinda like the Zac Posen dress, but…that Lorraine Schwartz necklace. It ruins everything. All the things: they’re ruined.
We get it Joanna Newsom: YOU’RE WEIRD.
Anna Gunn‘s dress, as Julia mentioned earlier, has got that whole Georgia O’Keeffe vulva glam going.
Creamsicle combined with Forever 21 lingerie = Louise Roe‘s dress.
Maria Menounos is practically a staple of our “Worst Dressed” posts, so hai Maria!
Speaking of which, I had a feeling I would be putting Allison Williams on here…So, thanks for that, everyone who styled her + Alexander McQueen.
Oh, Sandra Bullock. Girl, you know we think you’re great, but what is going on with this Prabal Gurung dress?
Not feeling Gabourey Sidibe‘s boring gown. If this fabric were slightly less plastic-looking and less loose, I might dig it more.
Now for some seriously surprising ones…
Somebody raked leaves and plopped them on a witch’s costume circa 1994, then gave it to Jacqueline Bisset. Also, to anybody who saw that speech…oh, dear. Stop drinking the free champagne, girl.
Laura Dern wore Roberto Cavalli, which coincidentally looked like Roberto Cavalli‘s chest.
I mean, at least this Carolina Herrera gown isn’t white, ivory, or bone-colored? Except you’re still wearing Hot Topic Couture, Taylor Swift, so I wouldn’t consider this a win.
Matthew McConaughey, lol.
Once upon a time, a giant snake died and Lizzy Caplan wore it’s skin to the Golden Globes.
I really, really didn’t expect to see Tina Fey on this list. Not even a little bit, but lo and behold, here she is. To be fair, this was exactly what I thought “red carpet fashion” was supposed to look like in middle school, but…somebody should have told her that this Carolina Herrera dress and awful hair looked bad.
Why is Zooey Deschanel wearing one of those sea creatures you only find out about in Planet Earth?
Julia put Zoe Saldana‘s Prabal Gurung dress best, so I’ll quote her in whole:
THANK YOU ZOE SALDANA! Readers–this is a dress. Here’s how you can get the look: slash up a previously ugly dress, add some fishing net, bedazzle it with hair clips for babies, add cat ears to the bustline, and throw some limp ribbons around the arms. Bless you, Zoe. Bless you.
We hope you’ve got some cold water handy, Zoe, ’cause you just got burned.
Did not expect to hate Kerry Washington’s Balenciega dress. Whoa.
Was Julia Roberts dressed as her Steel Magnolias character? If her Steel Magnolias character wore Dolce & Gabbana, of course.
Huge bummer: Jennifer Lawrence‘s dress by Christian Dior. And the hair and too-harsh lipstick that went with it. It was just an overall poorly-fitting and aesthetically displeasing look, in my opinion.
All photos by Getty Images.