You know, while I realize that stars go to fancy events where they’re expected to dress up all the time, I have never thought about how the event itself feels about celebrity wardrobe choices. Apparently, the people over at the Grammy Awards have had enough of all the ridiculous “costumes,” going so far as to send an actual email out describing what not to wear, particularly for women.

The “wardrobe advisory” from show broadcaster CBS warns against “obscenity” in outfits worn on the red carpet. It gets pretty specific about which parts stars should avoid showing and how. From Deadline:

“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic.
“Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.”

Is anybody else slightly uncomfortable by the phrasing of “‘puffy’ bare skin”? Overall, this is a pretty great feat of polite phrasing all of which essentially translates to, “Seriously, ladies, don’t show anybody your boobs, plz,” but that particular sentence made me a little icked out.

Granted, it does sort of make sense that CBS would attempt to get stars not to wear especially dramatically-revealing clothing. After all, it can get in trouble if, somehow, their delay between video and broadcast doesn’t pick up somebody’s nipple popping out. But it is still a bit sad to think that there won’t be the token ridiculous costumes — and they are costumes sometimes, not merely evening gowns gone wild — so let’s just all remember J. Lo’s infamous green Versace dress and feel some nostalgia for the crazy outfits of Grammys past, shall we?

Photo: Nikki Nelson / and Adriana M. Barraza/