Taylor Swift As we previously whined, coming up with a Best Dressed list from last night’s Grammys ceremony was like squeezing water from a goddamn stone.

Which brings us to the embarrassment of riches that is constructing a Worst Dressed list. We couldn’t even keep it to the standard ten! The 2013 Grammy Awards had to be one of the ugliest red carpets in recent memory… and ugly in so, so many ways.

Let’s begin.

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Red CarpetWe can count on Taylor Swift for two things: wearing a stupid white dress and shamelessly exploiting her personal life for public gain. She delivered on both fronts last night, with special marks in the former category.

Keltie ColleenWe have no clue who Keltie Colleen is–Getty indexes her, cruelly, as “personality Keltie Colleen.” We hate this from head to toe.

Katy PerryWhere to start? Katy Perry‘s hair? The makeup? The mink green Snuggie she’s wearing? The dreadful neck embellishment?

…The hair, probably.

Yes, definitely the hair.

AdeleWe first hesitated at including Adele–we have so much good will toward Adele!–but then we saw the photo op with Chris Brown so… no remorse.

Nicole KidmanDo you guys remember the days when Nicole Kidman was a reliably impeccable red carpet presence?

Last night’s outfit–hair, face, dress–was inspired by corn silk.

Kelly RowlandNo matter how many strips of fashion tape Kelly Rowland wears over her privates, no one will ever care about her dress as much as they’ll care about anything Beyonce’s wearing. :(

Bonnie McKee Don’t know who Bonnie McKee is but this is terrible!

Esperanza SpaldingEsperanza Spalding is responsible for one of our favorite red carpet looks in recent memory. This one, however, she should have left to Tilda Swinton.

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - ArrivalsLast night’s ceremony was replete with stupid cutouts and unnecessary mirdiff baring. Here’s Alicia Keys.

Florence WelchFashion industry darling Florence Welch falls on her face–despite this glittering emerald shade looking so good on her. We probably don’t need to point out why this dress is a damn disaster.

Although we do love dinosaurs.

The 55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - ArrivalsRemember how Jennifer Lopez wore that green Versace dress to the Grammys a long time ago and everyone freaked out and she broke Google? And then, how at the next year’s ceremony, Toni Braxton tried to one-up Jennifer Lopez by wearing strips of white fabric but, rather than causing a splash, just looked really, really desperate?

Last night, Jennifer Lopez Toni Braxton’ed Angelina Jolie.

And the circle of life is complete!

(All photos via Getty)