Gwyneth Paltrow, queen of relatability, stars in the new spring ads for Coach. She looks breezy and relaxed, per usual, even despite the fact that she’s probably breaking out in hives from carrying a bag that can be purchased at any old mall in any suburban town.

Paltrow is quoted by the UK’s Telegraph as saying: “I grew up in New York City, and I’ve always thought of Coach as the quintessential New York brand.”

HA. BULLSHIT. Gwynnie grew up thinking of Hermès as the quintessential New York brand. Still, here’s the other pic from her Coach campaign: