Goddamit, Gwyneth Paltrow, I was having so much fun being a hater, but you’ve made it really hard lately. First, you called your grandmother a cunt on national television, which obviously is a genius thing to do. Then, you rapped NWA lyrics in public (and respectably well!). Nary a white woman that I know — myself included — would have the balls to do that.

And now, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say that it was badass of you to go topless in Vanity Fair. Sure, you have lighting and Photoshop on your side, and plenty of celebs take of their shirts for magazines, but topless is topless. I loved it when Jamie did it, and fucking shit, I think it’s great that you did it too. Of course, you weren’t in Central Park and I can’t see your nipples, but you are still flaunting expectations of who you are and what you’re all about, not to mention that you’re flipping the bird to what society deems to be acceptable ways for mothers to behave.

God bless ya, Gwynnie.

(For the record, I still refuse to accept that Jen was right).