Oy, Gwyneth Paltrow is at it again! It seems like just yesterday she was complaining about the fanciest party of all the fancy parties she gets to go to… because she was. To USA Today. Only like, a week ago. This time, in an interview with two Australian DJs (transcribed by The Cut), she graciously disclosed:

It sucked. It seems like the best thing in the world. You think, ’Oh my god, it’s going to be so glamorous and amazing, and you’re going to see all these famous people.’ And then you get there, and it’s so hot, and so crowded, and everyone’s pushing you. This year it was really intense. It wasn’t fun! Kanye West was playing, and he was furious, and he threw his microphone down. It was all drama! I don’t know why he was furious. And everyone was dressed in punk … and I feel that we’re all a bit old to be dressed punk, you know what I mean?

While her kvetching is generally irritating, I’d like to focus on the last bit. The part where she’s all, “I feel that we’re all a bit old to be dressed punk.” I fully agree; Gwyneth Paltrow absolutely should not dress punk, but not because she’s “too old.” Rather, she should not dress punk because she’s not punk.There are plenty of punks of a certain age that still got it. For example, Kim Gordon; she can still dress punk because she’s raw as fuck..infinitely more so than, say, 15-year-olds at the mall.

Here are 10 reasons why Gwyneth Paltrow is the least punk that have nothing to do with her age:

  1. She creepily sells bikinis to kids
  2. She sang on Glee
  3. GOOP 
  4. Sliding Doors (1998)
  5. She encourages the entire world to avoid gluten
  6. She’s written more than one cookbook
  7. That pink Ralph Lauren gown she wore once
  8. She did a PBS television series with Mario Batali about food and culture
  9. People magazine actually likes her
  10. Her husband is Coldplay’s Chris Martin, the most vanilla of middle-brow musicians that will ever live.

Honestly, the most punk rock thing Gwyneth Paltrow has ever done is complain incessantly about the Met Gala.