The SRSLY girls have released another video mockumenting the lifestyles of young women in urban settings, but unlike their delightfully accurate take on street style blogs, this one details some sort of seventh circle of female friendship hell.

In it, the two ladies — Alexandra Fiber and Danielle Gibson — are getting ready to go out. But instead of just getting dressed and going, they whine at each other, act like children, and re-enact cheeseball rom-coms. I die a little with each passing moment. Watch it, and then let’s discuss:

[vimeo video=”38412614″]

First of all, I guess my question to you is, do any of you really behave like this? You know, like 15-year-old schoolgirls high on the sugar from Easter candy? Because I hope not.

Second of all, let’s break down everything in this video that would have made me go to this party by myself about ten seconds after putting my make-up on.

1. I hate picking out clothes with other people. Why do you need someone to tell you what to wear out of your own closet? Are you questioning the formality of the bar gathering you’re going to? Also, unless you honestly have no opinion of your own, you will inevitably get to the point where your friend insists that you “look sooooo good!!!!” in something that makes you feel like a walrus/torso-less/Stevie Nicks, and then you hit that awkward moment where you have to either disregard their opinion, or feel like a beached sea creature and a pushover all night.

2. Does anyone really, seriously, honestly strut down their hallway like they’re in a fashion show while hanging out with their friends? If you have, you’ve watched too many 80s movies. Stop it right now.

3. Please never open your Facebook page and ask me to look at it. Nothing makes my vagina dry up faster than someone uttering the phrase, “Oh my God, let me just pull this up and show you.” Every single time that happens, I get the overwhelming feeling that I’ve just snorted a Xanax — my eyes glaze over, my mind seems to travel miles and miles away, and time is suddenly meaningless.

I think the effect comes from simultaneously knowing that the next 30 minutes are going to be like social media waterboarding, but at the same time knowing that I’m going to have to pretend to care.

4. Jumping on the bed is not for grown-ups. It’s at this point that I would have left.

5. So after all that, you don’t go out? No. This isn’t a thing. If I’ve endured your indecision about your own closet, your Facebook page, and your singing into a hairbrush like you’re recreating some sort of goddamn Molly Ringwald montage, your ass is going out. And you’re going to fucking have fun. And so the fuck am I.