white witch

I am thinking of trying to transform myself into The White Witch, because, as a human being, 20 degree weather is not working out for me. I am not keeping warm. I don’t even have great ideas on how to keep warm. Warmth is actively attempting to flee my extremities. I came back from lunch, and it took a good half hour until I could type like a person again. My fingers, they froze up on the walk back. I was wearing gloves. iPhone friendly gloves, but still.

A lot times, I think, “Jennifer, what if there was some kind of Road like apocalypse? How long would you survive.” And the answer is always “I would spontaneously combust within minutes. Not because of climactic changes or anything, just because my human body is too weak to handle pretty much any changes.”

I think I would do better in a Mad Max kind of world with very hot temperatures, for the record, and maybe a cannibal warlord would make me their concubine, if I were lucky.

But that’s not the point. The point is “how are you keeping warm in this terrible icy hellscape that has descended upon us?”

Do you take hot showers? Baths? Do you just stay in bed with a space heater? True story, I have 5 layers of blankets on my bed at the moment, and one of them is fur. Another one is a comforter. I would say it feels comfortable.

Does that episode of the Twilight Zone where the sun moves farther away from the earth scare you as much as it does me? Hell, let’s just talk about how cold we are. How cold are you? Can you type with your fingers? What do you do?

Picture via The Chronicles of Narnia