Whether you follow Gal Meets Glam (I adore you Julia Engel) or Song of Style, College Prepster or We Wore What, you’re bound to notice some distinct patterns. Ever since I’ve taken some time pretending to be a real fashion blogger for The Gloss, those similarities have become even more pronounced. That said, this whole fashion blogging thing is no picnic.
If there’s anything I learned from this post it is that these girls must be absolutely shameless. I took these pictures in downtown Madison, New Jersey, population ~16,000 and let me tell you: it was awkward. People stared. And laughed. How do they get these amazing pictures on the streets of New York City or San Francisco? Answer: No shame. And hey, good for them.
Without further ado, I present the 10 poses you’ll see every single fashion blogger doing, stares of strangers be damned.
1. The Leg Cross
Fashion bloggers love to cross their legs as they look up at you with a stare that is meant to jointly say “Who me?” and “Look how sultry I am.”
2. The Hair Tuck
See also: The Hat Hold and The Awkward Sunglass Touch. Sometimes they even just rest their hand on their head apropos of nothing.
3. The Purposeful Street Cross
Don’t I look like I have so many important places to go?
4. The Bashful Look Down
After taking so many of these pictures lately, I completely understand the widespread use of the sly-smile look-down. For me it’s because it’s comforting that the focus is less on my face than the outfit. Whatever the reason, I’m a big fan.
5. The Park Bench Ponder
Just sitting here thinking about the inherent symbolism of words themselves, the impossibility of black holes, and the lyrics to a Keith Urban song.
6. The Brick Wall Lean
I just read that every brick-front building owner in New York is constantly shooing away fashion bloggers, and I am not at all surprised seeing as this one leg pose runs rampant on the interwebs. Though I think I’m making too much eye contact. Real fashion bloggers love gazing into the distance. Speaking of…
7. Laughing Into The Abyss
Can you tell I’m laughing at absolutely nothing? Here you’ll notice I’ve committed another grave error that a real fashion blogger would never make: I let my eyes squint in the way they actually do when a person laughs. WRONG. ALL WRONG. A real fashion blogger must always open her eyes a little bit wider than normal to let in as much illumination as possible, even if it’s totally unnatural.
8. The Over The Shoulder
Damn I squinted again.
9. The Sassy Hands On Hips
This is something of a triple whammy actually: sassy hands on hips, leg cross, and the look down. Watch out world, I’m feeling sly, sassy, powerful and bashful all at the same time.
10. The Stoop Kid
Rumor has it that fashion bloggers are indeed afraid to leave their stoops… without an iced coffee.