We recently went to an NYDJ event where we got our first pair of colored jeans (and you can get a pair, too, if you like us on Facebook. Go here!) They’re really pretty! Now they hang in my closet, where I stare at them and ask them questions like “colored jeans, how can I wear you and look neither like a hipster nor a merciless carricature of the entire 1980’s?” The jeans don’t say anything, because they’re going through a difficult phase (that’s a polite way of saying they’re assholes who never take our calls, just hang out all day, drinking, probably). Since the jeans themselves offer no useful advice, we’ve come up with some theories you might find helpful.