Whenever it gets really hot, fashion magazines will tell you all kinds of bullshit about cute clothes to wear–eyelet dresses! mullet skirts! sheer blouses!–but fashion magazines ply you with lies. Moreover, do you really want to sweat through your pretty new eyelet dress? Do you really want to get sunscrean all over your nice blouse? No. You want to give up. You want to roll over and die in an air conditioner.

…But sometimes you don’t have that option. Sometimes you even have to go to work. That’s where we come in. This week’s Illustrated Guide will show you how to keep things stylish and cool during those brutal Summer heat weaves.