It’s that time of year… when the internet gets together and collectively discovers that cheap, tacky Halloween costume manufacturers indeed manufacture cheap, tacky Halloween costumes. Gird yourself for 1000 slideshows of sexy versions of regular things, counted down and up and to and fro. Did you know they make sexy Halloween costume versions of beloved childhood characters? Of eating disorders? Of unicorns? Well, I ask you: what if these costumes stirred something deep within you? What if they revealed a hidden aspect of your psyche?

This week’s Illustrated Guide is a kind of paraphrasing of Friedrich Nietszche: when you look into a cheap polyester mini and lucite heels… it looks into you.