Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Last night in Milan, we finally got to see Jeremy Scott’s first complete collection for Moschino, and he sure gave us something to talk about (besides that awful dress they put on Katy Perry).

For his Milan Fashion Week debut, Scott went totally American and put out a collection of McDonald’s uniforms and drink cups as purses, SpongeBob SquarePants, a beer cape for all your DuffMan cosplay needs, and an artfully crumpled wedding dress covered with nutrition information. While there were some highlights, a significant part of the collection just reads as tacky for the sake of being tacky, and that’s a hard sell at a $1,000+ price tag.

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014Scott played with the classic Chanel suit, which is something Moschino also liked to do. Scott’s version was red with thick yellow piping. If you wore it, you would look like Ronald McDonald’s uptight mom, which is almost certainly the point.

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

A few blouses and trousers were elegantly cut, and a cow-print Chanel-esque suit absolutely made my day, even if I would not choose to carry it with a $1,000+ handbag shaped to look like a Happy Meal box. Then there were sweatshirts with the McDonald’s style golden arches (slightly modified to avoid lawsuits) over “MOSCHINO: Over 20 billion served.”

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Yeah right. At Moschino’s price point, they’re more Per Se than McDonald’s. And that’s one of the more confusing things about this collection: Who is going to pay Moschino prices for Fred Flare looks?

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

I shouldn’t even ask that question. The looks are so instantly recognizable from far away that they will definitely appeal to young fashion people who have a lot of money and want to use it to get attention. These accessories are virtually guaranteed style blog bait. If you are rich and want Tommy Ton to take your picture, definitely buy this McDonald’s bag:

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

This collection will probably sell some accessories, and accessories are where most brands make their real money. I do still hate this 90s style logo parade, with everything covered in M’s and branded belts that say MOSCHINO and nothing else.

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Honestly, I’m not a fan of Jeremy Scott’s work, especially when he’s caught plagiarizing. His eponymous line was never my thing, though he definitely has a die-hard following among people who are much cooler than I am, like Rihanna and Rita Ora. But as much as I do not personally like it, his overt, tacky, kitschy aesthetic made him an interesting choice for Moschino, which has a storied history of its own brand of eccentric kitsch.

Moschino was well-known for playing around with the concept of “highbrow” and putting out runway shows full of trash bags, question marks, paper bags, and stuffed animals. His clothes were full of weird but wearable unexpected elements like the vintage piano key dress Laura Carmichael wore when Lady Edith finally upstaged Lady Mary, or a very proper tailored jacket that reads “Good Taste Doesn’t Exist” on the back in red embroidery. Moschino was provocative, and so is Scott. But Scott’s look is just, well, uglier. Scott’s clothes are weird for the sake of weird, and customers like Rihanna occupy the looks and make them cool. Rihanna can wear anything, but I’m going to stand with the millions of people not paying $1,000 for a sweatshirt with SpongeBob on it.

Some of the looks last night were so out-there it’s safe to assume they’re just meant to make a statement and let us know that Jeremy Scott will still be doing the clothes that made him famous now that he’s at Moschino.

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

Moschino - Runway - Milan Fashion Week Womenswear Autumn/Winter 2014

It’s good for a new designer taking over a big-name house to make a statement with a debut show like this. It’s just a shame that statement is so ugly.