In my Jessica Simpson handbag, I keep my Jessica Simpson sunglasses, my Jessica Simpson perfume (Fancy Love), my (edible!) Jessica Simpson beauty products and an alternate pair of my Jessica Simpson shoes, because even after all these years I cannot get enough of Christian Louboutin’s Bruges pump. I am also very excited to have an entire home decorated in products that Jessica Simpson has absently approved of, like some kind of Roman emperor idly allowing pastel porcelain salt shakers to live. I dress my dog in Jessica Simpson high-waisted denim rompers and then we laugh together, illuminated by the gentle glow of a Jessica Simpson scented candle. It smells like cotton candy flavored cheesecake. By Jessica Simpson.

Also of note: this is a photo of Jessica Simpson being delighted that ran in WWD Monday. Alongside it ran the following sentence:

With her fashion empire expected to hit $1 billion in retail sales next year, Simpson sits atop a wide-ranging enterprise that stretches from better junior sportswear and dresses to handbags, fashion jewelry, intimate apparel and fragrances. In fact, 22 licensing agreements have been signed to produce Jessica Simpson merchandise, with home, fine jewelry, cosmetics and men’s wear on the radar.

Gird your loins, world.