Swimsuit model Jessica White popped into Jay-Z‘s historic Carnegie Hall concert the other night but most people were distracted by Beyonce‘s first post-baby appearence. …which is impressive, because Jessica White showed up dressed like this:

You know, sometimes we see models in dreadful outfits and think, “Oh well, she just has the rarest measurements known to man, she thinks she can wear whatever she wants… sometimes that backfires.” As in, we get it: they’ve got a remarkably proportioned body and so sometimes they kind of slack off in the styling department.

This, however, is not that situation. This is a swimsuit model who put on a tablecloth before going out, glanced in the mirror and thought, “What’s missing?” and decided to cinch it up with a belt from a Las Vegas-area JC Penny in 1985. This is a complete “What the fuck was she thinking?” moment, the very best kind.

Also, if you’re going to be sheer on top, you might as well go the whole nine yards, right? Unless she figured the boy shorts would add an element of taste.

(Photo via Getty)