Will there ever come a time when Karl Lagerfeld will say no to a money-making opportunity? Even if the opportunity sounds ridiculous and the outcome is fucking ugly? I would like to think so, but I fear it will never happen.

Hogan, which is part of the Italian Tod’s group, has teamed up with Lagerfeld for their fourth collaboration together, and this time it’s putting some shimmer in “casual footwear.” Because casual footwear and studs definitely go hand-in-hand, in case you were unaware.

Hogan already has a line of “Interactive” sneakers that were originally designed by Tod’s president, Diego Della Valle, but what’s a boring old sneaker when it can be a haute couture sneaker that shimmers and shines and makes you feel like a star? Well, it’s just plain and crummy; and no one wants plain and crummy on their feet. Lagerfeld took the leather surface of the original sneaker and added some lovely chi-chi embroidery and raised studs, which are the same “elegant details re-produced on a matching bag” — because your sneakers and bag should always match. To spruce the kicks up even more, there is also a swirl of paisley patterns across the top of the sneaker and along the side. Sounds super fancy, right?

This fourth collaboration with Lagerfeld also included other pieces of outerwear, including a “puffa jacket,” but it was these shoes that really made the impression. According to Della Valle when asked to explain the reason for creating a shoe that is couture as opposed to casual, it was simply a matter of making, “Everything as luxurious as possible.”

Although while looking at the sneakers, the last thing that comes to mind is “luxury.” They’re not even slightly attractive and I don’t even want to know how much these bad boys are going to cost. On a side note, I’m pretty sure that Coco Chanel is probably rolling over in her grave over this fashion maneuver on Lagerfeld’s part. No matter what decade it is, I’m willing to bet there’s no way in hell Coco would be caught dead in these things.