bieber premiere

Justin Bieber‘s new 3-D tweenstravaganza, Believe, premiered last night in LA, and its purple carpet features some surprising looks from some Disney stars that are going to make you feel super old in a few minutes.

Gabby Douglas Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Gabby Douglas looks super pretty. Everything fits her well, she looks cute, and I like the big necklace. We’re starting off with a win!

Jessica Jarrell Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Jessica Jarrell has great hair and is really pretty. I like the cutout but hate the fabric of this dress. The shoes are a little bit “Delta flight attendant,” but at least they’re not the triple-soled monsters most pop stars wear.

Debby Ryan Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Debby Ryan is pretty and has nice hair. The dress is not hugely remarkable and could use a belt because that waist seam is bothering me. But she still looks cute, and the shoes are great.

Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Super cute shoes.

Pattie Mallette World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

This is Justin Bieber’s mom, Pattie Mallette. I do not believe that moms should dress more conservatively than other women, or that women should not have fun or be sexy once they are also mothers. That said, I am hugely opposed to metallic bandage dresses with faux corsets and triple-sole patent leather platforms on all people, everywhere in the world. I feel an overwhelming urge to picket this dress with derisive signs.

Harry Shum World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

If Harry Shum would marry me, I would not even complain about the blue camo-print vest/jacket he is wearing. Why does blue camouflage exist? Does blending in with water ever offer a tactical advantage?

More Disney stars, Jenners, and Bieber himself this way …

Katherine McNamara Open Road Films JUSTIN BIEBER'S BELIEVE memoir and concert film, presented by Teen Vogue

Katherine McNamara is another cute, red-haired Disney actress. I have no real complaints about this, but the fish-tail braid is getting old.

Pia Mia Open Road Films JUSTIN BIEBER'S BELIEVE memoir and concert film, presented by Teen Vogue

Looking at Pia Mia‘s ersatz 90s outfit, I suddenly understand what my mom must have felt like when I bought a 70s disco costume from Party City.

Meagan Good World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

Meagan Good did the same sort of thing. They both look cute, but I can’t help but think that my mom still has all my old 90s clothes in the basement. I should mail them to retro-minded celebrities as a public service.

Christopher Meloni World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

What the eff is Detective Stabler doing at the premiere of the Justin Bieber biopic?

Christopher Meloni World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

Awww. He brought his teenage daughter! That’s so cute.

Jaden Smith World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

I can’t tell if Jaden Smith is wearing a skirt, a dress, or a really long shirt under another skirt and over shorts. It doesn’t really matter; he’s automatically the coolest kid at this party.

Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Justin Bieber is turning into Johnny Bravo.

johnny bravo gif justin bieber

Just tell me you don’t see it.

Kylie Jenner World Premiere of  'Justin Bieber's Believe' - Arrivals

I fear for Kylie Jenner‘s ability to pick up items or remove her eye makeup with those fingernails, but otherwise I actually like this. Cute shoes, cute top. The skirt looks a smidge too long, but otherwise cute.

Kiernan Shipka Justin Biebers Believe World Premiere

Kiernan Shipka is 14 years old and she’s more poised than any of us. I always feel weird when I want to steal clothes from teenagers who are half my age, but this Valentino Red dress is brilliant. Shipka is so consistently well dressed, we just know that in 10 years she’s going to grow up to be Marion Cotillard or Kate Blanchett and have high-end luxury brands fighting over who gets to dress her and put her in ads.

(Photos: WENN)