22nd A Night At Sardi's - Arrivals

Kaley Cuoco had a bit of a misstep on the red carpet for the A Night At Sardi’s event in Beverly Hills last night. Her Philosophy dress didn’t quite fit or have any reason to be designed in the first place, outside of being underthings for a costume in a high school production of a Shakespeare play, perhaps directed by Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates in Get Over It.

Before we get into Cuoco’s look from last night, I just want to say that this pains me. I like Kuoco–I think she’s adorable and fun, and she had the best wedding dress of 2014 (so far). She and her husband, Ryan Sweeting, have lovely Instagram and Twitter accounts where they frequently declare their love, and I never make jokes about giving myself a lobotomy after perusing them–it’s too genuine to be annoying. And yet, none of that makes up for this dress scenario, which looks like the nightgown of Captain Hook.

22nd A Night At Sardi's - Arrivals

At first I wondered if this dress looked great in person but photographed poorly, but I’ve come to the realization that being up close and personal wouldn’t do it any favors. Sure, there are things that I like about it. For instance, I really enjoy Kuoco in white, and it can be difficult to pull of an all-white gown without looking like you’re attending a chastity ball or about to become a human sacrifice. However, I struggle with the fit, draping, and that god-awful high-low hemline, which is so labial that I should probably make an appointment with Dr. Freud to fix my incessant labia-visions. I don’t mind the idea behind being unstructured, but the dress does have a structure, and it’s simply the wrong one.

On the upside, I love her hot pink lipstick and her skin is positively glowing. If only all of that could have been complimented by a beautiful dress in her size, instead of jersey sheets safety pinned awkwardly around her body.

Photos: Jason Kempin/Getty Images