A self-portrait with Choupette by Karl Lagerfeld

We were all surprised a few months ago to learn that Karl Lagerfeld did not, in fact, have a robot heart (or that he downloaded some sort of compassion program) because he went and got a kitten. The initial photo was cute and people fawned over it because this is the internet and you know how it feels about cats. But, little did we know that the kitten would become Choupette, the iPad-using, two maid-having star of editorials in I-D and now a feature in Harper’s Bazaar.

In its latest celebration of conspicuous consumption, Harper’s Kristina O’Neill sat down with Lagerfeld and we learned, once again, that life’s not fair:

Karl Lagerfeld: She has an attitude like a princess.

Kristina O’Neill: Does she meow a lot, or is she a purrer?

KL: No, no, no—everything is done with the eyes. She knows exactly what she wants.

KO: Tell me about her eating habits.

KL: She goes in the kitchen and sits in front of the food. She doesn’t like to eat on the floor, so I have to put the food on the table. Her dishes are by Goyard. She has one for water, one for her little croquette, and one for her pâté. You have to serve everything, and she makes a choice.

KO: Does she have a favorite person besides you?

KL: I hope not! But, yes, the two maids, especially one called Françoise. They spend hours together and do her beauty jobs, her hair, and all those things, and they have moments of tenderness with her. They have to write in the book exactly what they’re doing. Because there’s a diary, I know everything.

If it’s at all a meaningful distinction, Goyard does have a pet collection. And maybe Lagerfeld means pâté intended for animals–as in, a really upmarket version of Fancy Feast–and not something for humans? …But serving two kinds of food so your cat can choose one? It’s a fucking cat.

Honest question: is it fair to find all this pretty gross?

(Harper’s Bazaar)