Karl Lagerfeld has some short films about ice cream to promote. Thus, the W editors blog had the supreme honor of spending 30 (presumably terrifying and exhilarating) minutes with the inimitable Kaiser and, per usual, he said some pretty righteous stuff. Head to W for the complete interview–because obviously everything he said was awsomely confounding–but we rounded up our top ten favorites anyway:

On being busy
I’m always busy. You know, the more I do, the more ideas I have—that’s the funny thing. The brain is a muscle, and I’m a kind of body-builder.

On taking vacations
I’m not an employee who goes to the office every morning at the same time. Then, vacations are needed. I’m like a rock singer with one-night stands on the road. […] I don’t have to discuss budgets. I don’t do meetings. At Chanel, there are no meetings. At Chanel, we do what we want, whenever we want and it works. And Fendi is the same.

On who should become creative director at Dior
Well I’m not a consultant there, but I think Riccardo Tisci would be good, and then Haider Ackermann at Givenchy—not because they are friends of mine, but because they are good.

(And more interestingly–) At Balmain
Forget about it! This was a job done by a fashion editor. I don’t even know the name of the man who did it, so don’t ask me about that.

On becoming a writer
I’m not a writer, and I don’t want to be a writer because I have nothing to say.

On writing a memoir
I’m living my memoir, I don’t need to write it. But I do write a lot of prefaces for books.

What women shouldn’t wear
I’m not mad for thongs.

When he’s happiest
Happiness is like a fever. I don’t take the temperature.

When he last cried
I’m trying to think of the last time I had onions.


And my favorite, for pure Kaiser nonsensical pleasure:

On voting
No, I never ever vote because I know too much about the backgrounds of these people. No, but for me the advertising world is a new country to conquer. When you want something you haven’t done before you have to think it’s the most important thing. If you see it only as a room that leads to another room, you might make a mistake. I don’t want to cross the room. I want to stay there.