Remember when we said those Christian Louboutin “lion paw” shoes were the ugliest? Well, the man has outdone himself and made us look super wrong in the process. The first lady of controversial conventional good looks and having sex with mid-range cheeseburgers Kate Upton turned up in New York recently wearing what we’d like to crown the new world’s ugliest: a pointy-toed nude nude pump that spells out SEX when you go all cute and pigeon-toed.

Which is only a smidgen more subtle than this:

Which, while we’re free-associating, reminds us of this:

There you have it, ladies. Hideous Louboutins to the “Quit Playing Games” video in, like, no seconds.

(Photos of Upton via the Daily Mail)