kardashian kollection terry richardson

In addition to selling their Kardashian Kollection stateside at Sear’s, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian Odom, and Kourtney Kardashian are forcing their wares upon the poor, unsuspecting people of the UK through a capsule collaboration with British chain Lipsy. The ad campaign was shot by none other than professional perv Terry Richardson, who was also retained to shoot their Sear’s campaign. When I first read that Richardson shot the KK ads for Sear’s, I expected the Kardashians to be naked and straddling heaps of their clothing. But the Richardson-shot Lipsy campaign (wait, why was he hired? Why does anyone hire him, ever?), is decidedly un-pervy, and I’ll admit I’m pretty surprised.

The ads, however, are filled to the brim with serious faces and melodrama that makes Revenge look tame. Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney glare their way through all black-sets with the occasional over-designed chair, making me think they’re plotting world takeover via cutout or pouty expression. The Kardashian Kollection is very serious business, guys. Take them seriously.

The collection is pretty meh—it looks like something you’d wear to an 18-and-over club that takes place in an upscale funeral home. The dresses tend toward bodycon shrink-wrap deals, so be prepared to sausage yourself in. Also, if you have a body that is human, these clothes probably won’t look good on you without copious Photoshopping and flattering lighting.

Here’s some photos from the campaign, with our annotations:

kourtney kardashian

I think this look is very popular on the Middle School Dance circuit. Her mouth is smiling but her eyes are saying “I hate you.”khloe kardashian 2

Ugh, Khloe, I love you, but why can’t they have you using that chair in the standard fashion?khloe kardashian Okay so blue leopard print is a bold move, but, I mean VAVOOM am I right?kim kardashianKim’s new hair is really working. This dress is not made for any human’s body, except perhaps that of Kim Kardashian. Her expression of anger and skepticism really ties the look together. khloe kardashian 3

So glad they finally got Khloe seated properly. Why is everyone so dramatic about this? Why is everyone so sexy-angry?

Photos: Kardashian Kollection/Terry Richardson//via The Daily Mail