Not content to wear just one bad outfit today, Lady Gaga opted for what BuzzFeed accurately declared a “chicken nugget” mask. Given that I have an actual phobia of masks, this is quite possibly the most terrifying thing I have seen a celebrity wear in — well, probably forever. Oh god. Please take a look:
First thought: WHAT FUCKERY IS THIS?
Second thought: Oh my god, oh my god, perhaps it is simply my irrational fear of masks taking over, so maybe just another picture will make it better and —
GOD, NO, IT’S REALLY THIS AWFUL. PLEASE LET ME GO HOME.
Gaga wore the strange outfit while leaving the Ritz Carlton Hotel, which gives me this weird image of her walking around in a fancy hotel suite, squawking like a chicken and eating bon bons with her beak. I mean, it’s only logical, right?
I get it, Lady Gaga. We all get it. You’re weird. But why are you wearing what looks like a giant moldy socket on your head? It’s not that I think you shouldn’t, it’s that I simply don’t understand why. Okay, composing myself momentarily and trying not to scroll up as I type the rest of this post. Breathe, Sam.
I think I feel a little better now, I’ll just post this article and —
OH GOD I GIVE UP, GIVE ME A TOWEL BECAUSE I’M THROWING IT IN AND LIGHTING IT ON FIRE ALONG WITH MY FUCKING RETINAS.