(Photo: H0les Eyewear)
Remember those kaleidoscope glasses that Lady Gaga was wearing in her Shiseido commercial a few weeks back? And how much I loved them? Well, the eyewear gods were smiling down upon me, it would seem, because not too long after that post went up, the good people at H0les Eyewear got in touch with me, informing me that they were the creators of those ridiculously exciting glasses. And, because I aspire to live my life like Lady Gaga, I decided that there was no better way to do it than to live a day of my life wearing the same glasses that she wears, because why not?
First things first: Not only has Lady Gaga been seen wearing these glasses on a pretty regular basis, H0les has some pretty awesome of shots of Miley Cyrus and beauty vlogger Michelle Phan wearing them on their Instagram, and as a pretty big fan of both of those ladies too, I was obviously stoked to try them out. After I received a warning to not try to cross the street while wearing them, because, seriously, I’d literally be wearing kaleidoscopes on my eyes, and no one wanted me to get hit by a car for the sake of a story, I began my day.
Here’s what the glasses look like:
The ones pictures here are the H0les_luna in Rainbow, and they are as glorious in person as they are in photos. As our Contributing Editor Heather put it, they look like jewels. Here’s what it looks like from inside the frame:
Yes, that goes on your eyeball, and yes, it is as a fun as it seems. Here’s the look in all of its glory:
I feel like a star.
Click to the next page to see how the day went, and for two very special, surprise celebrity guests!
Here’s a day in the life of your average girl trying to live like Lady Gaga:
10:00am: Roll out of bed like IDGAF because it’s the weekend. Remember that I’m going to basically be the perfect combination of Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus today. Put the glasses on so quickly and forcefully that I accidentally almost knock out my cartilage piercing.
10:15am: Realize that it’s extremely difficult to load up a coffee filter properly when you wear glasses that make it look like there are six coffee filters.
10:16am: Pour coffee all over the kitchen counter after aiming for the wrong coffee filter.
12:00pm: After the morning struggle was over, I had to get some writing done. I won’t go into the entire process, but I will say that it took me about 10 minutes to write one sentence, since I kept missing the keyboard. It’s really hard to read through a kaleidoscope, guys.
2:00pm: Walked into a table corner, decided it was probably best if I remain sedentary for the remainder of the experiment. Not sure if a result of the glasses or if that was more of a personal problem.
3:00pm: Ventured into the great outdoors of my backyard, whereupon I was blinded by the afternoon sun. Turns out the glasses actually make everything brighter, which is fun in theory, but a little bit painful in practice.
3:15pm: Attempted to take selfies for this article. You’ll notice that the pictures I took weren’t quite centered? Well, it looked like they were to me. Those glasses seriously distort things, so I understand why I was told not to wear them while walking around or crossing a busy street.
4:00pm: Feel my eyes crossing underneath the frames, and I begin to wonder how Lady Gaga is capable of wearing these all over the place.
4:10pm: Endure an existential crisis wherein I realize that I probably won’t ever get to be like Lady Gaga.
4:11pm: Get over it, because these glasses are seriously cool AF.
5:00pm: Realize that I have to get on a train and a subway car in order to get back to my apartment, and decide that now is as good a time as any to conclude my experiment.
Oh, and remember that thing I said about “surprise celebrity guests”? That was probably misleading, because the surprise celebrity guests are my parents. I happened to be back at my childhood home for part of the day when I was doing this little experiment, and I thought it’d be fun to have them try the glasses out. Plus, my dad wants to be an “Internet sensation” and “go viral,” so, you know, that’s happening.
Please enjoy these photos of my parents, who shall henceforth be known as The Donna and The Rob:
General consensus from The Donna and The Rob, both of whom actually need glasses in order to see properly:
Mom: Well, they don’t make me need glasses any less, but everything is really bright. Also, I have a migraine now.
Dad: I look like a bug! Will I be trending now? #ReallyCoolDad.
And there you have it folks. A day lived like Lady Gaga. While it did serve to prove that, really, only Lady Gaga can actually be like Lady Gaga, I did feel pretty cool for a couple of hours there, which is a new sensation for me. Also, if you’re a music festival-goer or are just looking for a funky new pair of glasses, I definitely recommend checking out H0les. They’re got a variety of frame and lens combinations, and there’s something for the inner-Lady Gaga in all of us. You’re welcome.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to look into ways to turn my actual glasses into kaleidoscopes. I’ll keep you all posted.