Here is a secret fact you would never have guessed about me: I love David Lynch. Particularly his bizaro masterpieces Twin Peaks and Blue Velvet, respectively. So as you can imagine, I was super duper thrilled when my favorite adult contemporary singer did her own take on David Lynch for an H+M commercial.

Just kidding, I find it appalling. In H+M’s (I have to write it like that because the Internet hates ampersands) latest “collaboration” with singer-cum-spokesmodel Lana Del Rey, Lana sings “Blue Velvet” while all sorts of faux-Lynchian weirdness goes on around her. There’s the red room, the Black Lodge, a bunch of girls who look like Lana (she’s multiplying!) and even a creepy midget. It’s just like a David Lynch film, if David Lynch films featured H+M clothes and were terrible.

Then again, the uneasy feelings I feel watching my least favorite trollgaze artist inhabit my most favorite imagery are probably something Lynch would appreciate. And what Maura Johnston once called Lana’s “melted cover girl looks” are not actually a bad fit for Lynch’s vision of wholesome Americana gone slightly (or very) wrong. So maybe it does Lynch justice, after all. That said, he’d better be getting some goddamn royalties.

(Via Refinery 29)