Lindsay Lohan Trial

I’d say Lindsay Lohan’s court outfit is probably a 7 on the inappropriateness scale, but allow me to break that down.

1) She’s wearing sheer pants. You can see her legs through her opaque pants which are made out of gauze. To court. She’s going to court (she showed up 48 minutes late) for a June car crash, during which she violated her parole (for shoplifting) and crashed into a dump truck. She’s being charged with “reckless driving.” I know all of this seems pretty old hat to Linday Lohan, but when you are facing jail charges, you still sort of owe it to the jury to put on some proper pants.

2) She’s wearing heels one would wear to a club. I mean, they would be pretty tasteful for a club, I guess, being all closed in. And I know that yes, high heels are appropriate for these events. But there is a difference between a tasteful pump and a heel that is seven inches high. The difference is that the second one is absurd to wear to court.

3) Why is she wearing only white gauze? Are we supposed to be tricked into thinking she is an earth angel? That is not working. That plan failed. That plan failed because we all know that Lindsay Lohan is a bit unhinged, despite wearing a cross, as evidenced by the fact that at one point she and her lawyer whispered about whether she could leave court and get back to surfing, soon.

So, yes, this outfit does not rank a ten, because it does have a top, and I guess we are not seeing sideboob in a courtroom, but seven. It ranks a seven. This is absurd.

Picture via Getty