Do you like to wear your pajamas to the store? Do you? Because if so, you should know that you offend the sensibilities of one local official in Caddo Parish, Louisiana, and that he will fight with everything he has to rob you of your right to wake up in the morning and not change your pants for the ensuing 24 hours.

Michael Williams, Caddo commissioner, says that he was spurred to action to ban pajamas being worn in public because of a glimpse he caught of an errant penis. A group of teen boys, Williams told the Shreveport Times, were wandering around WalMart indecently clothed, when one allegedly had a wardrobe malfunction:

“I saw a group of young men wearing pajama pants and house shoes,” he said. “At the part where there should have been underwear,” his private parts were showing through the fabric.

Now, why Williams was looking hard enough at a teen boy’s crotch to be able to catch a flash of peen — or an outline of peen, it’s not entirely clear which — is anyone’s guess (and why no one else is raising this question is also anyone’s guess). But we’re inclined to say this: should the world be punished because one 15-year-old boy who was probably high on bath salts forgot to put boxers on underneath his Superman pants? Of course not! That’s unfathomable. Why, it’s downright un-American — and we’re not the only ones who think so. The Times reports:

Khiry Tisdem, of Shreveport, has no problem going out in his “Family Guy” Stewie pajama pants. “I wear my (pajama) pants anywhere,” Tisdem said. “I’m an American, and I can wear my clothes anywhere I want. I’m a grown man. I pay my own bills, so I can wear my clothes the way I want. I don’t know why it’s an issue.”