At TheGloss NYFW is being covered by two opposing forces, fashion week first timer Alice Walker Wright, and long time veteran Julia Allison. They’ll be bringing you some insights into the week that promise to go beyond our standard “pretty dresses are fun” take on it.

Having never done anything Fashion Week related before, I was a little nervous to start showing up at receptions and shows. After all, I’m a nobody. I don’t have a closet full of attention grabbing designer clothes. I’m not tall and I’m certainly not thin. I couldn’t make a thoughtful comparison of a designer’s past collections against their current offerings if you gave me 20 years worth of VOGUE and a thesaurus.

After last night’s events I can now say that unless you are Somebody, nobody cares. In fact, I was nearly invisible and it served me well. When people don’t notice you or assume you’re part of the help they don’t seem threatened by you. That means they will say some really funny things.

People you later find out are on fashion reality shows will inform you jokingly that they are only there to “meet famous people”.

reality show guy

This is that reality show guy

The man you call “cool hair guy” will ask you for more gift bags after you take his picture. (Note – I was not handing out gift bags, I was just next to the tray.)

cool hair guy

Note the cool hair.

The beautiful, dark haired woman surrounded by people most of the night will inform you that she can’t wait for this to be over “so I can go get a drink”. Some guy covered in gold sequins will notice your black widow spider dress pin and go on for several minutes about his rampant fear of spiders.[Ed note: that man is Mickey Boardman, Creative Director of Paper Magazine, and you should exploit that weakness].

mickey boardman cynthia rowley

Spiders everywhere

The pretty girls running around with crimps and ringlets and perfect makeup will whisper to each other that they are terrified of falling down on the runway, and their worry that the hot lights and leather pants “will give me the sweaty butt – but the music is loud so I hope they won’t hear the pants squeak against my skin”. (Really? Models worry about stuff? But they’re, like, so pretty!)

Some people attend Fashion Week to get noticed. They want their picture taken with famous people, and they want to “network” in order to get invited to other places where they might get their picture taken. I was there for the free drinks and to check out the groovy clothes while trying wildly to avoid cameras at all costs (I don’t need a visual record of my Target dress, thank you.) I did both and wound up having a great time talking with some cool people that I will probably hang out with again.

By blending into the background rather than competing for attention, I was able to relax and just enjoy the carnival going on around me. I even found that I loved the social side of fashion, and I can see now why so many people want involved in the industry – because clothes, booze, and people are a pretty fun mix. The most important thing I discovered is that it is possible to enjoy gossip, fashion, and prosecco in a room full of cameras and people elbowing you out of the way to ask Cynthia Rowley “what was your inspiration!” for the 900th time while you make “wow original question” faces in the background.

I also learned that I hate cameras that catch me making “wow original question” faces.

Really original, guys.