Oh my Christ. Look at these.

They cost more than $4000 and I kind of hate buckles on anything and I don’t really like the two different skin textures and I’m not crazy about pointy toes on anything either and why are there zippers and all told I’m not that crazy about them but but… but…

Check them out from the back (below). They make you look as though you’ve been clomping through a secret metal flower glade hanging out with gutter punk faeries and drinking gin on toadstool tables. They are magical.

Alexander McQueen floral-engraved leather boots, $4,195, Net-a-Porter

And major thanks to Design Scene for pointing these babies out.