manolo blahnikApparently, shoe designer Manolo Blahnik is the grandfather you always wanted. Not only does he make beautiful shoes that once had Carrie Bradshaw falling over herself to buy, but he has no idea who Amanda Seyfriend is. Isn’t that adorable? It’s just like a grandfather to be confused by all those pesky young kids!

In the March issue of Interview, the designer goes on to explain that the actresses of today are “all the same,” except for Julia Roberts (obviously): “I try to remember — the only one I remember is Julia Roberts because she’s particular. Anne Hathaway … Pretty? Yes. Wonderful actress? Yes. But, I mean, I don’t even remember her. What is it about her?”

It’s Roberts’ smile, isn’t it Grandpa Manolo? You are the most delightful thing in the world!

Blahnik then proceeds to tell interviewer Tim Blanks about his disease, the one he can’t remember the name of, before getting into a story about how he almost fainted on Salma Hayek who is, as we all know, from France:

Well, last time, I had this, what do you call it? What is it called, this, this thing here? [Blahnik’s hands circle over the right side of his torso] Forget about it. I forget about the diseases that I have. I don’t want to know. But anyway, so I have this thing here, and when I went to this award at the Savoy, I was 40 degrees [centigrade] in temperature, and I said to people, “Please forgive me that I’m out of it.” And I was waiting to be photographed. And I almost fainted on that girl, the tiny woman from France, no, from Mexico . . . Salma Hayek. But she’s a sweet girl, beautiful. I love that.

Isn’t he darling? Just picture him jabbering away about this and that, saying Twin Peaks is awful, admitting he’s “an old bag,” and unable to name the ailment that last hit him, all while on the verge of yelling, “Darn it! I told you kids to stay off my lawn!” Now this is the stuff that grandpas are made of — epic shoe designing talent and just the right amount of clueless old-timey crankiness.

Oh, Grandpa Manolo, you and your charming ways! You’re the bees knees.


Photo: PacificNewsSource