fruit of the loom

There are probably a lot of reasons people could invoke to ban sagging pants, most of them aesthetic. However, the mayor of one New Jersey town has the best reason ever in the history of the world.

Ernest Troiano, mayor of Wildwood, NJ, says he’s banning baggy pants because:

“I’m not one of the Fruit of the Loom underwear inspectors; I’m not one of the grapes. I don’t want to see it.”

He is not one of the grapes.

Nor should he be. He should be a banana maybe, or a juicy apple, or some other, more dominant pant-fruit.

What do you suppose he was thinking when he said that? Do you think he envisioned himself in a fruit of the loom grape costume? Nobody will ever put you in that costume, Ernest Troiano. Not anymore.

To be fair, according to Gothamist, he also claimed that:

“When you have good families who call you up and say, ‘I’ve been coming here 20 years, 30 years, 40 years and I’m not going to any longer because I’m not going to subject my children or my parents or grandparents to seeing some kid walk down the boardwalk with their butt hanging out,’ you have to do something.”

So he had an actual reason, in addition to the fact that he just hated being grouped as one of the grapes. I still think the grape reason is the best reason, though, and I’m probably going to use it in a lot of underwear based arguments going forward.

Picture via Fruit of the Loom