We recently saw that our friends over a Styleite have a new columnist! His name is Karl Lagerfish and he likes to spend his days  faxing with Anna Fintour. We decided that means it’s time to introduce our own mascot, Terry Ratterson. (Seriously, the only animals we have in our office are the vermin. That’s how we stay hardcore). No! No, don’t worry. He’s not a loner who ran away from his gruesome place in the rat king. No, he’s a misunderstood facilitator of fun!

As you can see, he comes with a whole vial of catnip. Because he likes to deal with others in an obviously self destructive way, sometimes! Seriously, Terry just can’t help the way he is. The way he is is artistic, okay? Mostly, though, he always totes catnip around because he’s all about getting a little pussy.

He’s also got his very own Screaming O bullet vibrator, because vibrators are like so fun right? Terry Ratterson can’t speak  – though he keeps this totally rad blog with pictures of rats and babes – but sometimes he just sits at our feet and his little pink rat eyes say “why don’t you insert this vibrator up your ass? It will be, like, the most fun thing since Disneyland.”

Basically, what we’re saying is, “Styleite, can we trade office pets?” (Please? Karl Lagerfish – we will build you a fax machine out of gold and fish food. Call us.)