The New York Post ran a story this week on a local poker queen who “has enough [shoes] to put Carrie Bradshaw to shame.” That right there is enough to make me stop reading something, but I soldiered on. 41-year-old Beth Shak has over 1,200 pairs of designer shoes, as well as homes on Park Avenue and in Bryn Mawr, PA that she purchased with her vast poker winnings. Because she keeps her shoes neatly organized in closets, her story made The Post and not “Hoarders.” But why the insatiable drive to purchase so very many shoes?

“It’s my one happiness,” said Shak, 41, who is single and has a pad on Park Avenue, along with her primary home in Bryn Mawr, Pa.

Emphasis mine. Could the writer be dropping subtle hints that there’s a hole in her heart she’s attempting to fill with all that fancy footwear? It seems likely. It also seems improbable that nothing else makes her happy. Friends, perhaps? That country house? Getting fabulously wealthy off playing a card game? I guess being a poker queen isn’t all it’s cut out to be. Or maybe she meant to say “my one luxury” or “my one indulgence.” Because that would be less of a bummer.

As a result of her extravagant shoe fetish, Shak gets custom and limited edition footwear that most people don’t have access to. She’s also “looking to pair herself with a charity to give away up to 100 pairs of her used designer heels.” Because if there’s anything homeless women need, it’s Louboutins. But seriously, it’s nice that she wants to give back (and/or make room in her closets for more shoes). Helping people tends to be a better heart hole filler than shoes, in my experience.