When it comes to velour, it’s a fine line between Kanye West and Magic Castle. And most men, I’m sorry to report, don’t know how to tread that line, and wind up looking like they’re about to walk onstage in front of a packed house in Vegas and get mauled by what they thought was a subservient tiger (too soon?).

But look, Ryan Gosling, no one’s judging you for trying this look and failing, because almost all men do fail when they attempt velour. It’s just really tricky. But it’s OK. You have nothing to feel bad about. Now go home, light that little blue number on fire, and never look back (except…well, look back to put the fire out).