Prince Harry Visits The United States - Day One

The list of gifts that Prince Harry received over 2103 has been released by The Palace today, and it looks like our own Michelle Obama gave him the best gift on the list. Last spring, Prince Harry surprised military families at a White House tea party, and Obama gifted Harry with a brown leather flying jacket. Given my level of sexual attraction towards Harry, that whole thing sounds pretty awesome. I’m not surprised that on the entire list of gifts, Obama’s is the best, because she just seems like the kind of thoughtful gift giver who buys for the recipient perfectly.

Given the whole list (which was shorter than I expected, but longer than most adults’ yearly gift haul), it looks like baseball hats were a very popular gift, and by my count Harry received no less than six commemorative caps last year alone. Governor Chris Christie gave Harry a commemorative medal, a book (probably called Bridges: An Idiot’s Guide To Petty Revenge), and a fleece jacket, which I’m hoping looks similar to Christie’s GOVERNOR fleece that he made famous during Hurricane Sandy.

Prince Harry Visits The United States - Day Five

Big ups to the unnamed individual who gave Harry an “[o]versized congratulations card” to give to Kate Middleton and Prince William, and also to the other two individuals who gave Harry “soft toy[s].” I am pretty pissed that my job doesn’t include an exchange of gifts with everyone I meet with, given that 1. I am an excellent gift buyer and 2. I just want gifts from everyone, for me. Is that too much to ask for? Oh well, I guess I’ll have to settle for my salary and bagel Fridays, which make me feel like royalty every week.

Photos: Getty Images