miley-cyrus-backup-dancerIf yesterday was National Steal Britney Spears’ Spotlight Day, I wish someone would have told me. I would happily have made a coat out of condoms and performed “If You Seek Amy” in front of a church if I’d known, but apparently the memo only went out to other pop stars.

Yesterday marked the beginning of Britney Spears‘ Las Vegas residency (that always makes it sound like she’s a doctor, which is funny), and Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus showed up like Brit-Brit’s drunk bridesmaids and proceeded to make spectacles of themselves as only pop stars can.

First Katy Perry showed up in the worst outfit we’ve ever seen her in, and that is saying something because she’s Katy Perry. Her sequin shirt, tutu, and thigh-high stockings could only have been more blatant if the shirt said “Photographer Bait” instead of “Nu Frenz 0.” (Memo to self: Produce line of “Photographer Bait” sequin T-shirts.)

Not to be upstaged by Katy Perry’s terrible outfit or whatever Britney Spears was doing onstage, Miley Cyrus decided that making out with women for cameras was going to be her new thing and just went to town with her tongue on one of Britney Spears’ backup dancers. Conveniently for Miley Cyrus, the entire escapade was quickly recorded and posted to YouTube.

Miley Cyrus is getting bad at being shocking. Spears already had her own “shocking kiss” moment when she French kissed Madonna at the VMAs in 2003, and Katy Perry’s whole career exists because of a song about kissing girls. If Miley really wanted to shock, she’d do something actually surprising like swallowing a live goldfish or enrolling in a Ph.D. program.

Britney was cool with it, though. Later she thanked Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry for coming to the show.

“.@MileyCyrus Love you so much! Thank you for coming to #PieceOfMe! I adore you :)” Spears said.

She might be lip-synching on stage with painted-on abs, but at this point Britney Spears is a freaking institution. We suspect her Vegas residency will go really well for her. I’m trying to convince all my friends to get engaged just in the hopes that one of them will decide to have a Vegas bachelorette weekend and take us to the Britney Spears show.