Out of curiosity, how many times a day do you wish you could carry a water bottle like an accessory? Two times? Fifteen? Every moment of the morning and evening, then sometimes at 3 AM when you wake up in a cold sweat thinking, My god, will I ever be able to wear my Evian? Well, today’s your lucky day: Nasty Gal has created the bizarre combination of purse and liquid satchel that you never asked for! Introducing the Unchained Water Bottle Holder.

Okay, so here are just a few reasons you should absolutely not waste $38–yeah, thirty-eight dollars is the price of this–on the Unchained Water Bottle Holder:

1. You cannot put anything else in it. I mean, technically you could put medium-sized items like teddy bears or
2. If you put money in there, it will fall out.
3. If you put your wallet there, your money might not fall out but the entire day, you will worry that it will.
4. If you are going to have another separate place to put your money and/or makeup, gum, and dozens of inexplicable receipts, then why not just put your water bottle in there?
5. If you are running in a race and would like something to carry your water bottle in–a situation in which you would probably not need anything besides said water–would you really want to make it a metal chain one?

I get that normal and wealthy people alike have an occasional urge to buy useless products (I for one still want a rotary phone even though I have zero reason to get it), but guys, this is just a silly contraption. You would be better off buying a fanny pack, which you’ll have to wear anyway with this because unless you have very little stuff, there will be nowhere else to put any of it. In conclusion, I do not understand this product and I am so confused by who is buying it.