nipple petals

Okay, we’re going to do this as a quiz. Should you wear nipple petals?

1) Do you have nipples. Y/N

2) Do you hate wearing bras? Y/More Y/N

3) Are you comfortable with sticky things being on your skin? Y/N

4) Like a sticker. Like if I stuck a sticker on your face would you be able to resist clawing off your own skin to get rid of it. Y/N

If you answered “yes” or “more yes” to all of the questions, this is a pretty good option. I have a pair, I wear them underwhite dresses, they effectively stop your nipples from showing (although I always worry about them slipping off despite the fact that this has never, ever happened.) Anyhow! They’re $16. Get one any you will never have to wear a bra again, and will know the meaning of freedom.

If you answered “no” to question one, know that I am excited that TheGloss appeals to the Barbie Dolls of the world, and I always knew you guys came to life when your children were out (which is why I ripped all your heads off).