Somewhere out there, Pinterest moms are weeping into mason jars of Chardonnay, because North West just celebrated her first birthday, and the party Kim Kardashian threw her puts all other first birthday parties to shame.

Hell, North West’s first birthday party puts Coachella to shame. “Kidchella,” as North’s party was called, involved a Ferris wheel, a karaoke concert stage for Kendall and Kylie Jenner to live out their rockstar fantasies, loads of miniature teepees, and sponsored outfits for all the tiny guests.

“Baby Ryan today at North’s party #KidchellaVibes#CustomBabyYeezusTees #RhylaHeadbands#FreshlyPickedMoccasins #SusiesCustimDenim#Norths1stbday,” Kim wrote.

Little Ryan is awfully cute in her custom baby Yeezus T-shirt, but Kim has clearly blown right past the idea of the goody bag and started handing out swag bags for infants. If this is the size of a North West party now, just imagine what they will look like when North is old enough to remember them.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Coachella-themed birthday party without this going on:

Ugh. Khloe. Why do you do this to me? You are undoing all the good will you earned from those weird pig mask photos you posted earlier.

We get a bird’s eye view of the whole shindig, because Kris Jenner hopped on the Ferris wheel to share the photos with Instagram.

There’s also a giant bouncy house. I know this is supposed to be a kids’ party, but I really want to drink all of Kanye’s top-shelf tequila and go in the bouncy house. Who’s with me? I think Kendall and Kylie are with me.

“We have way too much fun at children’s party’s. KIDCHELLA 2014 killed it,” Kendall posted earlier today.

Kendall would be the expert. She and Kylie are already in the running for the queens of Coachella next year. They might as well get some practicing in at Kidchella. But I can’t help but note that Kendall called it, “Kidchella 2014.” Does that mean North West’s giant birthday festival is going to be an annual event? I wouldn’t be surprised. In 15 years we’ll all get to be like, “I remember when Kidchella was just a single famous child’s birthday party. Now it’s the biggest fashion and music festival of the year.”

(Photos: Instagram)