85th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

The 2013 Oscars are taking place tonight–which you probably know if you’re the sort of person who reads ladyblogs (even this one). We’ll be liveblogging our kneejerk reactions to all the fancy designer dresses in this very post, so don’t forget to refresh throughout the night.

Without further ado, we bring you every single look from this year’s Oscars red carpet…

Kelly Osbourne Academy AwardsFirst out the gate, unsurprisingly, was Kelly Osbourne. Her dress was weird. No two ways about it.

Robin RobertsRobin Roberts wore blue (velvet?).

Maria Menounos OscarsWhile Maria Menounos came dressed as a damn Barbie.

Giuliana Rancic OscarsGiuliana Rancic wore origami. Like her makeup a lot.

Kelly RowlandKelly Rowland‘s whole look feels very lopsided.

Eddie RedmayneEddie Redmayne continues to be good at red carpet events.

Nancy O'Dell Nancy O’Dell only ever does Nancy O’Dell (with extra cheese, please).

Brandi GlanvilleWho the hell invited Brandi Glanville?

Kristin Chenoweth We’re not fond of Kristin Chenoweth‘s dress, but we are so very fond of her.

Amy AdamsAmy Adams looks like a fairy princess and we’re okay with it (due, in large part, to that beautiful color).

85th Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsJessica Chastain is the first dress of the night that makes us feel complicated feelings. On the one hand, it’s a sparkly neutral column (boooooring), on the other… it’s got this amazing art deco thing and her whole face area is perfect.

Jacki Weaver Best supporting actress nominee Jacki Weaver wore ruby.

Kerry Washington We expect so much from Kerry Washington, that it’s probably not even her fault we’re disappointed. Really dig how she matched her cheeks to her coral dress, though.

Reese Witherspoon Reese Witherspoon wore black and blue–one of our favorite color combinations–but her Louis Vuitton feels rumpled. And, strangely, just not fancy enough for the Oscars.

Zoe Saldana OscarsAlthough we’ve decided we don’t love Zoe Saldana‘s look on the whole, we kind of jumped up with excitement when we saw this appear in the photo database. What a strange risky dress with a knockout of a hem. Alas, we really hate that belt.

Octavia Spencer aOctavia Spencer looks exceptionally lovely in pale lemon.

Fan Bingbing Fan Bingbing wore the hottest pink ever.

Channing Tatum and Jenna DewanChanning Tatum and Jenna Dewan looked very cute, though we kind of give all pregnant ladies a pass at red carpet events.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Professional loveable scamp Joseph Gordon-Levitt stopped by.

Jennifer Lawrence Jesus, Jennifer Lawrence, maybe you could have tried tonight? Just a little?

…Just kidding, she pretty much looks like modern glamor personified.

Olivia Munn Olivia Munn‘s hot-off-the-runway Marchesa is draped nicely.

Amanda SeyfriedSomething feels off with Amanda Seyfried‘s look. Does it wash her out?

Sally Field Sally Field wore statement red.

Norah JonesNorah Jones‘ hair and dress struck us as silly.

Jennifer Hudson NOOOOOOOO JENNIFER HUDSON. NOT THE FRONT SLIT!!!!!!

(This is a complete disaster)

Melissa McCarthyOh, dear, Melissa McCarthy.

She is hilarious and talented, but this look is tailor made for the worst dressed list. Also, did her people learn nothing from the worst Oscars hair of all time?

Catherine Zeta-Jones Catherine Zeta-Jones overdid it on the bronzer and kind of ended up matching her dress.

Jane Fonda Jane Fonda wore this very, very yellow dress.

85th Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsChristoph Waltz is the world’s cutest person. He brought his apparenty very elegant wife, Judith Holste.

Helen Hunt Helen Hunt‘s dress seems so very wrinkled—but also, midnight blue is the best color on her.

Anne Hathaway Ahh, this is sure to be one of the night’s most polarizing looks. Depending on your perspective, Anne Hathaway either nailed ethereal, gamine sophistication or raging teenaged awkwardness.

The back view doesn’t clear much up:

Anne Hathaway Oscars dress

 

If anything, we’re more perplexed.

Anne Hathaway DAMNIT, Charlize Theron. We are so sick of peplums–we never need to see another one, ever–but otherwise, this look is so minimal and modern and clean (and she always looks beautiful).

We hate to say it, but we think we’re going to have to accept the peplum. Just this once.

Helena Bonham Carter Helena Bonham Carter cares not for your silly red carpet pomp and circumstance (bless her).

Naomi Watts Naomi Watts has had such a strong red carpet season that we’re really bummed to see her on the damn Oscars red carpet looking all Roboboob.

Adele Adele stayed in her comfort zone and added big hair.

Jennifer Aniston Oscars dressJennifer Aniston wore that shade of blinding citrus-y red that was on every red carpet this year. We like the color on her but it’s the hair that strikes us as really off.

Nicole Kidman Oscars worst dressedNicole Kidman nosedives onto the worst dressed list.

Stacy KeiblerOur brain doesn’t care for Stacy Keibler‘s clingy beaded dress.

Our heart says, “She looks extremely gorgeous.”

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler 2013 OscarsHere she is with boyfriend/mountain man George Clooney.

Halle Berry Halle Berry‘s dress needs to go home because it is drunk.

Samantha Barks Les Mis star Samantha Barks opted to show as much breastplate as possible.

Salma Hayek As much as Salma Hayek‘s hair is just too tall and fussy for us, this woman can wear the shit out of a dress.

Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock continues to be ageless, always classing everything up.

Jennifer Garner Jennifer Garner has exactly the coloring that should make for a homerun in eggplants and plums; unfortunately this feels very drab to us.

Jeremy Renner  OscarsJeremy Renner looks dapper.

Kristen Stewart OscarsKristen Stewart looks every bit as achingly uncomfortable as we’d expect from her appearance on an Oscars red carpet.

Also, the hair. Couldn’t she have done anything? At all?

Quvenzhane Wallis Quvenzhane Wallis brought a friend.

Sunrise CoigneySunrise Coigney (who accompanied husband Mark Ruffalo) wore… this.

 Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman Georgina Chapman (with husband Harvey Weinstein) was very pregnant and very beautiful in, presumably, Marchesa.

Naomie HarrisNaomie Harris wore one of the more bizarre dresses of the evening. Feels very Flintstones to us?

Kelly Ripa OscarsWe were hoping for a better photo to hit Getty before we called it, but we’re thinking we really, really like Kelly Ripa‘s dress. You never see prints at the Oscars and this feels so fresh while also formal enough for the occasion.

(All photos via Getty)