Catherine Zeta-Jones worst dressed

Last night’s Oscars ceremony was perhaps the longest in history. Lucky for us, though, the red carpet was surprisingly interesting–with clear winners, obvious losers and a lot of unusual looks and light risks in between.

Sadly, now comes the most dickish part of our job: picking the Oscars worst dressed list. Make sure to tell us how we are dumb and wrong (and mean!) in the comments below.

Jennifer HudsonJennifer Hudson‘s whole look was an absolute mess. The dress was strange and ugly enough… before we noticed the front slit.

Oh! And you can’t see them in the above photo, but her peep toe pumps were the clashing-est shade of electric blue.

Maria Menounos OscarsMaria Menounos was Malibu Barbie.

Brandi GlanvilleThe only thing confusing us more than how Brandi Glanville got invited to the Oscars is her dress. And everything else.

Nancy O'DellNancy O’Dell‘s dress was truly awful. Shoes, too. And the tan. And the jewelry and the…

Sunrise CoigneyA lot of people learned Sunrise Coigney‘s name last night for the wrong reasons.

Kelly RowlandKelly Rowland‘s whole look was a mess–the super cheesy prom updo, the dress that looked like it was tipping over, the mismatched shoes, the chunky jewelry.

Catherine Zeta-JonesCatherine Zeta-Jones dress was over-the-top Zuhair Murad, paired with way too much bronzer.

Naomie HarrisDid Naomie Harris‘ dress remind anyone else of Fred Flintstone?

Nicole Kidman Oscars worst dressedSounds like popular opinion was actually pro-Nicole Kidman.

Good thing we don’t base our opinions on the popular ones, because Kidman’s L’Wren Scott struck us really, really gaudy.

Halle BerrySpeaking of gaudy, Halle Berry was practically a lock for Worst Dressed of the night. But at least her dress fit, right?

Melissa McCarthyThe title of worst dressed, sadly, goes to the funny and talented Melissa McCarthy. Everything about this failed: the fabric, the cut, the fit and–more than anything–the hair.

(all photos via Getty)