That’s right, ladies — you can view a real image of a real penis in the window at Barney’s! Quick, get out there, before the herds descend!!

What’s that? Nothing but the sound of crickets? Interesting. Maybe it’s because all it takes is a quick round of chat roulette to see a naked dick, or maybe it’s because nudity isn’t that shocking anymore. Or maybe it’s because flaccid cock is about as sexual as my grandmother’s porcelain egg collection. I don’t know. But despite the fact that no one really gives a shit about junk on display, the fact that the image was in the window at Barney’s is causing quite a stir.

The New York Post reports that the stir is linked to the fact that the offending dick was at eye level for children, which for me just says that there is something very wrong with the person who thought of that. I think it’s safe to say that most dicks are at eye level for children, but I think it’s also safe to say that most people don’t think of them that way.

Anyway, because of it’s proximity to young eyeballs, the image has been moved to a safer, further back location, where now it will simply surprise and offend grown women. JK —  flaccid dicks aren’t offensive. They’re actually kind of cute.